Tick Tock Diner
281 Allwood Rd.
Clifton, NJ
A good, old-fashioned New Jersey diner is one of the few redeeming qualities this state of smog-filled highway between New York and Philadelphia has to offer.
If you’re looking for something more than Roy Rogers at a Jersey Turnpike rest stop, a roadside diner usually isn’t hard to find.
In fact, some say the whole diner thing was conceived right here in the swamps of New Jersey.
Such is the case with Tick Tock Diner in Clifton. Opened in 1948, Tick Tock was serving up classic American comfort food long before ‘Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives’ became a thing—let alone a TV show.
But Tick Tock has since left their humble beginnings far behind.
Expanded and renovated many times over, Tick Tock Diner has gone fine-diner. Granite countertops, polished chrome, and gourmet seafood dishes have replaced most of their 1940s roadside nostalgia. But I was still hopeful.
In my many years of trying new places to eat, I’ve discovered that a menu item with a quirky or unusual name is likely a good bet.
That’s why Tick Tock Diner’s “Happy Waitress” caught my eye.
Unfortunately, it turns out the “Happy Waitress” is neither quirky or unusual.
Two slices of toasted Wonder bread is topped with melted American cheese, thinly sliced tomato, and few strips of bacon. That’s it.
I have no idea why they call it the “Happy Waitress”. “Happy Cook” would make more sense—they charge ten bucks for the easiest item on the menu to make!
Thank goodness I paid extra to get their onion rings instead of fries. Thick and crunchy, they were by far the highlight of my meal.
Surprisingly, Tick Tock Diner also serves beer—an anomaly for a diner. Unsurprisingly, their selection consists of your typical, boring, mass-produced beer.
However, Tick Tock is very proud of their desserts and have them prominently laid out in traditional glass display cases by the front door and behind the lunch counter.
Peanut butter pie being one of Tick Tock’s specialties, I couldn’t resist ending my meal with a slice.
A little heavy on the peanut butter side, their version of one of my favorite pies was decent, but not exceptional.
Sure, there’s no such thing as a bad peanut butter pie, but I’ve had much better at diners and cafes down south.
And thus ended my experience at Tick Tock Diner.
With all its history and nostalgia scrubbed and polished away, and their food not even enough to recommend, Tick Tock Diner just isn’t worth your time.
Rating: Wouldn’t Wear Shirt If You Paid Me.
