Running into a bear the size of a compact car is possibly the most horrifying thing I can imagine while in the woods.
And unless the bear doesn’t mind you innocently pet her cuddly cubs, knowing what to do next can save your life.
The National Park Service has posted a healthy dose of advice that’s not only informative but will have you rolling with laughter.
One of the longest running jokes in bear safety is “when being chased by a bear, you only have to be faster than the person next to you.”
While you may have had a recent falling out with your bestie from high school and are not completely opposed to this method, it is not actually legitimate protocol when you have a powerful predator at your heels.
In a Facebook post by The National Park Service that gained the attention of over 52 thousand users, the most entertaining bear safety advice in history was given.
The featured title reads, “Please don’t run from bears or push your slower friends down in attempts of saving yourself.”
After the humorous intro, invaluable advice follows, such as don’t run away or try to climb up a tree.
In the spirit of sharing, and saving the life of an unsuspecting slower friend, let’s cover some protocols for walking away from a bear encounter unscathed.
When you see a bear, the natural instinct is undoubtedly to get away from it as fast as possible, but this could gain the unwanted attention from a bear just perusing the landscape.
Stifle your gut-wrenching fear and move slowly sideways, so as not to trip over the log you didn’t know was behind you.
If a bear is charging at you, put your big boy pants on (which you may have to change later) and stand your ground.
Letting a bear fulfill their curiosity is a likely way out of the situation – and shows you are a force to be reckoned with.
Using your voice to let the bear know you are human helps deter them, even though you know you wouldn’t stand a chance in hand-to-paw combat.
But as The National Park service warns, showing off your opposable thumb while waving is not going to do the trick.
And even if you believe you’re half monkey, don’t attempt to climb a tree to escape the burly clutches of our woodland friend.
Bears climb trees incredibly well and quickly. You have seen Pooh Bear get his honey from the tree, haven’t you?
And the possible bear encounters don’t end once the trail does, campsite safety is also important, as Proud American Traveler has previously reported.
Remember to keep food in a sealed container away from your tent or suspended from a tree, and don’t wear your favorite cologne in the middle of the woods.
Trust me the woodland creatures aren’t impressed and it will only lure unwanted visitors.
This isn’t the first time The National Park Service has met the high expectations of its followers.
In January, they tweeted a well-loved bear safety tip saying – when you see a bear “Pick up small children immediately…unless the children have been acting up and you’re trying to send a message.”
Bear Safety Tip: Pick up small children immediately. Do this first, unless the children have been acting up and you’re trying to send a message.
See more bear safety tips on the @NatlParkService @instagram at https://t.co/40YzjuQVPK pic.twitter.com/Ip12RFz7Vc
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) January 22, 2020
Stay tuned to their next post, because it will likely lift your mood and make you want to get outside and enjoy wildlife.
And don’t forget, bears are beautiful majestic creatures – that have ferocious claws and an even bigger appetite. So stay safe.